Boundaries

I don't understand why it's so difficult for people, ok families, to understand what it means to have boundaries. I've been going through a lot lately, and trying to learn what makes me happy and who makes me happy is harder than I thought. I have narrowed the field somewhat, and for the most part distanced myself from my dad, who I blame for many of my deep-rooted issues. He has heard my request and complied to some degree, and not called me. He has continued to email me, and even though not as frequently, he still does. I changed my email and wound up giving it to him since he promised to behave. I specifically asked him not to mention my son and his problems because I am the parent. His father and I have it under control to the best of our abilities. This evening he sent me an email again including his 'best wishes' for my son, and then dropping in some information about my looking for low cost housing I had only discussed with my mother and brother. My mother denies having talked to him about it, which leaves my brother. I became enraged that my plans had been discussed and consider it a breach of trust. I hadn't asked my brother specifically NOT to tell my dad, but I expected him to just get it. I told my mother I would no longer be sharing my plans with my brother if he was going to discuss it with my dad. If he doesn't have the information to give, he doesn't have to feel like he's withholding anything if asked. My mother could not understand why this was bothering me so much. She went on and on tell me that it's only natural for family that is concerned to want to know what's going on because they're worried about me. I didn't expect her to understand where I was coming from and I told her that. She was looking at me with 'that' look that I can't stand, one of frustration and pity. I told her I was getting up and walking away because I did not wish to discuss this anymore. I was not going to be able to make her understand my position or feelings, nor was I going to be able to understand hers. I came into my room, sat down on my toddler bed and began to write while listening to my 'rain' music.

On a happier note, I had a lovely lunch with a fantabulous man. He's adorable, big brown eyes, a little squishy like I am, but very masculine. We ate and talked for over an hour, kissed in the parking lot, and made plans to see each other this weekend. The hardest thing for me with regards to men and dating has been using restraint and luring them in, rather than pouncing and dragging them into my chick cave, (which doesn't actually exist at this moment.) I've allowed him to call or text me, not the other way around. And it's worked! I think I may have learned something about myself after all. And that ultimately makes me happy.